I’ve heard all kinds of woulda, coulda, shouldas in the grief space, and I’ve definitely experienced some of these firsthand, too!
In a way, whether we realize it or not, we want to believe we have control over death or the past. That it wouldn’t have happened if were adequately prepared or more vigilant. But, death happens, right? While guilt is very valid, guilt can also be a distraction.
Guilt can fill our heads with noise that keeps the worst of our pain at bay and almost keeps us busy, in a way. For argument’s sake… maybe we woulda. Maybe we coulda. Maybe we even shoulda! But the thing is? We didn’t. A lifetime of self-loathing and misery won’t change that.
So, how do we cope with this? Your gain from this episode is to learn how to cope with those feelings of things we coulda, woulda, or shoulda done or said in our grief.
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