Grief doesn’t always look like loss of a person. Sometimes, it looks like losing a dream. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Clay Brigance, an Infertility Counseling Expert, professional counselor, researcher, and host of the Love and Infertility podcast, for one of the most powerful conversations I’ve had on this show.
We’re talking about infertility and pregnancy loss as a grief experience. The kind that so often goes unnamed, unseen, and completely unsupported.
Dr. Clay brings both the clinical expertise and the deeply personal experience to this conversation. He and his wife navigated male-factor infertility, IVF, a traumatic birth, and a hysterectomy—and came out the other side with a whole lot of wisdom, purpose, and a marriage that’s stronger for it.
Here’s what we dig into:
✨ Why infertility is a grief experience, and why so few people recognize it as one
✨ The “reproductive story” we all start building around age 2 or 3, and what happens when it gets torn apart
✨ Dr. Clay’s four pillars of connection, and why some couples grow closer through infertility while others fall apart
✨ The “crescendo effect” that builds stress in relationships and what to do when your amygdala takes over
✨ Well-intended chivalry, and why trying to rescue your partner from their pain actually makes things worse
✨ Two practical tools: reverse engineering your conversations and the boardroom method for getting in touch with your emotions
✨ How to navigate the painful “at least” comments from well-meaning family and friends
✨ The grief that comes with relationships, learning who can truly hold space for you, and letting go of those who can’t
Whether you’re in the thick of an infertility journey, have experienced pregnancy loss, or love someone who has, this conversation is for you.
Connect with Clay:
- https://www.drclaybrigance.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_claybrigance/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p/Shiloh-Counseling-LLC-100090955350701/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/clayton-brigance-phd-lpc-99a4381a4
Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/lifewithgriefpodcast
📖 Life Beyond Grief Substack: https://taraaccardo.substack.com/
Work with me:
- Micro-Moments for Transformation: https://lossesbecomegains.com/transformation
- 14-Day Relief in Your Grief Challenge: https://lossesbecomegains.com/relief-in-grief
- Work with me one-on-one: https://lossesbecomegains.com/work-with-tara
Connect with me further:
- Leave a voice note: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2429466/fan_mail/new
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lossesbecomegains/
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- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/losses.become.gains
- Website: https://lossesbecomegains.com/
- Shop the LBG Daily Journal: https://lossesbecomegains.com/journal
Check out my other podcast, Taste Toast Travel!
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