The holidays are filled with traditions—those rituals and routines we come back to year after year. But when someone we love isn’t here to share them with us, those same traditions can feel empty or even painful. If you’re feeling that way, I want you to know that that is so valid. It’s okay to not feel the joy that used to come so easily, to not want to participate in every festivity, and to potentially have to redefine what the holidays mean to you.

One powerful way to approach this season is to reflect on which traditions still bring you comfort and which ones you may need to release or reimagine. Consider this: are there certain elements that connect you to the memory of your loved one? Maybe it’s a favorite recipe they used to cook, a song they loved, a special place you’d visit together, a game they’d like to play, opening gifts the night before versus the day of–any big or little nuances.

If it feels good, lean into those traditions. Not because you have to, but because they bring you closer to the person you’re missing and keeps them alive, so to speak, for you and the people around you. Their energy alive, if nothing else.

Creating New Traditions

If you’re ready, you can also create new traditions that honor your loved one’s memory. This might be lighting a candle in their honor, volunteering somewhere that was meaningful to them, or even making a new dish inspired by something they loved and having your own take on it. Or, following an old one to a tee because you know that’s how they would have loved it. 

Remember, the goal is not to replace them or the traditions or what would normally bring you joy, but striking a balance. Finding ways to carry the memory of your loved one with you while also honoring the fact that you’re still here, navigating life without them. The beauty of creating new traditions is that you’re giving yourself permission to grieve while also inviting in some moments of joy, connection, and meaning.

Journal Prompts for Processing Grief

I know that reflecting on your grief can be overwhelming, especially during this time of year. But one of the best ways to start processing those feelings is through journaling. It’s a space where you can be completely honest with yourself, and it can also be a powerful tool for releasing some of the heaviness you’re carrying. Here are a few prompts that might help you navigate the holiday season:

  1. What holiday traditions do you miss the most with your loved one? How did those traditions make you feel connected?
  2. If you could say one thing to your loved one this holiday season, what would it be?
  3. What new traditions could you create that honor your loved one’s memory and bring a sense of peace to you?
  4. What are some ways you can practice self-care and protect your energy during the holidays?
  5. When you think about your loved one, what feelings come up? How can you allow yourself to feel those emotions without judgment?

Take your time with these. You don’t need to force yourself to write if it feels too hard. Maybe just choose one prompt that resonates most with you. Even a few minutes can help release some of the tension and sadness that can build up during this season.

You can also look back on these later on and see how far you’ve come.

Breathing & Mindfulness Exercise

Now, I want to quickly offer up a short mindfulness exercise you can use whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed. The holidays can be intense with so many emotions swirling around, and it’s easy to feel like you’re drowning in it all. This exercise is meant to help you ground yourself and find a bit of calm, even if it’s just for a few moments.

Grounding Breathing Exercise

Start by finding a comfortable place to sit or lie down. Close your eyes if that feels safe for you, or simply soften your gaze. Now, let’s take a deep breath in together, slowly through your nose… hold it for a moment… and then exhale gently through your mouth. Do that a couple more times.

  1. Inhale deeply through your nose, imagining that you’re breathing in a sense of calm and peace… hold… and exhale slowly, releasing any tension you’re carrying.
  2. As you continue to breathe, bring your attention to where you’re sitting or lying down. Feel the support beneath you, grounding you in this moment. Feel the earth beneath your feet or the chair supporting your back. Know that right now, in this moment, you are safe.
  3. Now, as you breathe in, I invite you to picture your loved one in a happy memory. If they were ill or died in a way that doesn’t encompass the light they brought into this world, envision them in their healthiest state.

    Maybe they’re laughing, or maybe they’re simply sitting beside you in silence. Breathe in that memory… and exhale any sadness, allowing it to mix with the love and connection you still feel for them.
  4. Take one more deep breath together… in through your nose, hold it… and release. Gently wiggle your fingers and toes, and when you’re ready, open your eyes.

This exercise is something you can return to whenever you need to center yourself. Even just a few deep breaths can help you feel a bit more grounded, especially if the holidays are feeling too heavy.

Closing Reflections

As we wrap up today, I want to remind you as always to be gentle with yourself. You don’t have to do all the things or be all the things for everyone else. Do what you need to do to make this holiday season make sense sense for you. This season doesn’t have to look the way it used to. It’s okay to create new memories, to hold on to the old ones, or to simply survive it.

I’m here with you, walking this journey alongside you. If you found today’s post helpful, please consider sharing it with someone who might need it! And if you’d like more support, I’d love for you to connect with me on Instagram @lossesbecomegains and @lifewithgriefpodcast.

Until next time, remember: You are not alone. Your grief is a reflection of the love you carry, and it’s a journey we can navigate together.

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