Your gain: Sit back and relax and dive into these six game-changing mindset shifts and realizations with me. My hope today is that these might resonate with you in some way and inspire you going into the new year as well.
To start wrapping up 2023 and to welcome 2024 with big open arms, I wanted to share six game-changer-level things that I learned this year. But I don’t want this to be all about me and my learnings and how they’ve only affected me. These are things that I thought about very carefully and that I truly felt could apply to you as well, because I had you in mind as I was doing this self-reflection and creating this episode today.
And, if nothing else, just to be something to walk away with and think about today. But I also want to mention that although we’re very grief-focused here at Losses Become Gains, these are not all grief related. This is truly a more overarching, all-encompassing, life-after-loss sort of deal that we’re talking about today, and we are going to get into some griefy things here, of course.
But I also really wanted to make this conversational, and be a little bigger and impactful for our everyday well-being and mental health. That way, you can apply this to whatever is going on in your life right now or what might come up for you in the future.
Dealing with Insensitivity
Insensitive people and comments will continue to come. Yes, even years down the line after your loss. And it can still be shocking.
This isn’t something I learned just this year, but I wanted to mention this because it continues to surprise me. But at the same time, I have felt a lot of mindset shifts and growth within myself when I come across situations like this.
Now, this might not be game-changing, but let me give you some context here. This point stemmed from something that happened to me very recently. Someone that my mom knew slipped a message into my Facebook inbox very randomly, unprovoked. Their message to me was, “I lost my mother, father and brother. Don’t tell me what pain is all about. I really know what it is time to let it go. You have to do the same thing. You are not the only one to lose someone.”
There are a lot of issues that I have with that message, and it really caught me off guard. It felt so out of the blue and almost accusatory. A lot of people had a lot of opinions, and rightfully so. Everyone’s entitled! Let’s go a step deeper here and explore why someone might say something like this, and how we can then respond to it.
Complex People, Complex Opinions
There are a lot of complex people in our lives, at work, in our family… whether or not we can avoid them. There are also a lot of complex people on social media as well. What it comes down to that I have found this year is understanding that it’s less about us. It’s less about us, and more about them and their experiences.
Maybe it’s things that they were or weren’t able to or allowed to work through. Perhaps they come from a different generation or just a totally different upbringing. I’ve talked about this in previous podcast episodes with unmet expectations and grief around that. Maybe it’s how they were raised or who they were raised by, things that they’re projecting. Perhaps she did get triggered by something that I posted and it didn’t sit well, and it elicited that reaction. Maybe it’s something that they are or need to work through, but they haven’t even identified what that is yet. Maybe they don’t know that internally!
Re-grieving is a Real Thing
On a similar note, I also want to mention that re-grieving is a real thing. No matter how many years have passed. With regards to this individual, perhaps she’s going through a difficult time—or maybe didn’t know if I was going through a difficult time—and she didn’t take the time to understand that.
This re-grieving process really needs to be acknowledged. And what do I mean by re-grieving? It could be something big or even something minor coming up in our life that is bringing up a lot of the initial grief that we felt when, let’s say, an event first happened. For example, the death of a loved one. Maybe it’s the day divorce papers were signed. This doesn’t have to be a death, this could be anything!
And the thing about sort of re-grieving (not that we’re ever sort of out of the grief process, so to speak), is that we can experience a lot of little “deaths” any day of the week. Every day. But with these bigger losses (I’ll just call them bigger losses for the sake of this conversation), not everyone really understands or realizes this, right?
That’s why acute grief can feel so profound. And then we start working again, or life goes on and we feel kind of stuck, people forget that sometimes.
It’s so individual to all of us and kind of has to happen in our own time. So, for someone to sit there, especially behind a computer, and have the audacity to say things like that to us? Not cool!
The Balance of Grief
It’s a tricky balance. We kind of have to stay in our own lane in our grief, but it’s just a matter of seeing each other and holding that space. Sometimes there might be a time and place to say something, but sometimes not saying anything can be beautiful, too.
I know that sounds kind of counterintuitive, but it’s not necessarily just staying silent and ignoring someone’s grief or not acknowledging it. It’s just offering, “hey, here’s a hand”. I am here to hear you, I am here to listen to you, and I am here to see you.
That in and of itself can be so impactful, because grief is a very collective thing. But it’s also so personal, and it doesn’t obey timelines. So, if anyone is ever giving you flack or imposing opinions like this on you, remember what I just mentioned. This could be their projections. It could be things that they actually need to work through, or wounds that they have that they haven’t dealt with yet. We have no idea!
Surround Yourself with Good People
I’ve come across people in my time who are very close-minded. Their world is very small. Their empathy is seriously lacking. And that often doesn’t happen for a reason! That is usually stemming from something. Now, I am not a psychologist or a psychoanalyst or anything of the sort. But if there’s one thing I know, it’s that. All the more reason to surround yourself with good people! Simply put, I’ve had to phase away from people in my life.
People who drained me and people who left me feeling empty. Those who left me feeling undervalued, those who lacked some empathy, and a want for understanding for what I had been through. But while that’s highly important, what I’m about to say next is also highly, highly important. That goes both ways. This is not a one-way street. We need to show up for people, too, which has also been a big lesson for me in ways that I maybe have or haven’t done so.
Remember it’s a two-way street
As we’re grieving, especially if we’re in the earlier stages or if we have some really deep grief that we’re trying to work through—or that acute grief where it’s super fresh and new—that ebbs and flows, of course. Sometimes we’re the ones who need more support, and sometimes it will be others in our life.
We’re all here just living, trying to enjoy life. But taking a moment to look around at who we’re surrounding ourselves with, and making sure that they are adding value to our life—we are adding to them as well—that a beautiful synchronicity of love and support and energy.
And more than anything, all of this is imperative for our mental health. Because grief is tough enough, right? I also want to say that people can surprise you in positive ways, too!
Your Grief Doesn’t Get Smaller… You Expand
We have to remember our grief doesn’t get smaller. Your life, your soul, your happiness… all have the potential to get bigger. You create new memories that expand your experiences and your outlook on the world. You have to let that happen, and you have to be open to that. But that is what can happen after a loss.
Having the right people around us who can uplift us and be there for us as we’re doing this is so important. Especially when moments like the holidays or anniversaries or whatever it is that come along and our grief is all we can feel.
It’s not because we’re moving backward in our healing. It’s not because there’s something wrong or that there’s something wrong with us or that we’re not capable. It is because this is a complex process that can take us a few steps back sometimes. Or it can certainly feel that way, even if that’s not what’s actually happening.
Grief Evolves Over Time
But that intensity of our grief, it’s not going to last forever. There are going to be moments where it is more intense than others, but you will continue to find color, vibrancy, peace, and happiness beyond your grief. But this is also why it can feel very overwhelming to make new decisions this time of year, or think about walking away from people that haven’t been the best influence on us. There can be sort of a comfort in that, even though we know it’s not the healthiest thing for us, that relationship, that person, whatever it is.
We’re told to set new goals for the year. We might be in the middle of feeling the weight of some unexpected pain or grief, and we can get discouraged because it can feel like this will go on forever. That’s exhausting! But this is where we can take a beat and just pause. We can take a breath, we can rest, and we can release expectations on others and also ourselves and just be.
It’s this beautiful balance of allowing peace, allowing rest, and allowing us to sit with our grief. But also, as I’m always saying, taking those healthy baby steps every single day, however we can, that collectively will open us up and expand our minds and expand our life.
It’s Okay to Create, and It’s Okay to Slow Down
It is more than okay to create big, exciting things, and it’s also okay to slow way down. This has been a big learning for me this year. It is all about balance. This year, for me personally, was a very, very busy one. A lot of that was very self-inflicted! It was busy with work and with things I was building and creating for Losses Gecome Gains. I went through two different certifications this year, one of which I’ve talked about this a little on the podcast before—to become a Soul Purpose and Spiritual Life Coach. That was a very eye-opening and expansive experience that has only benefited me as a coach.
One of the things that we talked about in this program was Ayurveda which, if you aren’t familiar, is a traditional medical system of India. Ayurveda has delineated three categories of fundamental principles of the body, mind, and behavior. So, what exactly is this? I have a point, I promise. These three categories are called Doshas. These three doshas are named vata, pitta, and kapha. So, why do I bring these up? Let’s talk about them really quick.
An Introduction to Vata
Vata, which is air energy, is when we might be going through an ideation phase. Something is kind of weighing on us or we get an idea. This is very much how Losses Become Gains came to be! I received this download I wasn’t expecting. That’s another aspect of this vata energy. We might receive a download or something calling to us a little bit. We’re brainstorming and we’re tapping into some creativity. There’s some big-picture thinking going on. There’s drafting and envisioning. It’s this beautiful ideation creation phase.
An Introduction to Pitta
Next is pitta energy. This is fire energy. This is the get up and go. It’s the execution phase of something, taking action, creation, the actual act of creating, delivery, doing fine-tuning, and getting feedback. There’s a lot of energy with this pitta phase!
An Introduction to Kapha
With kapha, this is more earth energy. This is a reevaluation phase. There is the sacred pause, which if you’re not kind of familiar with this sacred pause, is a moment where we stop and release our identification with problems and reactions that we’re having to things. It’s a moment where you do not need to speak or fix or achieve or resist or run away from something, but simply just watch and observe what is going on around you. What is coming to you. And this kapha phase is also a lot about reflection, rest, recovering, mulling things over, and seeing what comes up for you.
How to Avoid Getting Stuck in Each Phase
The important thing to remember is we don’t want to be in any one of these phases for too long. And how this ties in with grief is we can often get kind of stuck in one of these phases. So, for example, with the Pitta phase where there’s a lot of going and doing, a lot of us can get really stuck there because we are distracting ourselves or we’re trying to avoid something. We might be keeping busy with work, trying to keep busy with our family, or whatever project we can throw at ourselves to perhaps not deal with our grief.
Whether we’re doing this consciously or unconsciously, this is happening in our subconscious. Or maybe we’re in more of this Kapha phase where we’re dragging our feet a little bit. And I don’t mean that in a bad way! Grief can really take a lot of energy from us. We need this phase. We need the rest, the relaxation.
Take a Step Back and Breathe
We have to be able to take a step back and just breathe, take stock of what has happened to us or to someone we love, and how it is now affecting our life. But again, it’s important we don’t stay in any one of these phases too long. So, for example, if you stay in that vata phase, you might never get an idea that you have off the ground because you’re too busy. You’re stuck in the planning and not taking action on it.
Meanwhile, if you’re stuck in the pitta for too long, you’re probably going to burn out. I have definitely experienced some of that this year. This has been a tough balance for me. But conversely, if we stay in the kapha phase too long, you’ll perhaps feel too low energy to start anything. Then, you can never really get it off the ground to make these positive changes for yourself. It’s those baby steps I’m always preaching! This is something I cover more in my one-on-one coaching and the Intentional Life After Loss Membership.
Moving Through the Dosha Phases
You still might be wondering, “Okay, what does this mean, Tara? Why do I have to move through these stages one through the other? Why is this important when it comes to really just living a life after loss?”
What I want to communicate here is that we must allow this flow to come in and out of our lives for a few reasons. For example, if you are going from the vata to the pita stage, a question we might want to ask ourselves is, “If you have one year left to live, what would you focus on?”
Think about that for a moment. And then from there, we find ways to take those actions. Now, if we are in this pita phase and we want to slow down—to relish in what we have created and what we have done—a question we might want to ask ourselves is, “How can I relax? How can I create more time and space for me, for my peace, my harmony, and my rest?”
Lastly, if we want to move from this kapha phase to the vata, asking “What are your dreams? What are your dreams?” And this can be a tough question to answer!
Ask Yourself the Right Questions
If you are coming off a new loss or you’re regretting something, or you’re going through some stuff right now, take this with a grain of salt for the moment. Maybe come back to this later. But asking ourselves the right questions to elicit what steps we can now take to take some action on. Give that some thought. What is it that you want and you want to visualize for yourself? What do you want to manifest? And then from there, it’s turning those thoughts into actions.
You don’t need to put too much thought into this, because we naturally move through each of these phases throughout our lives. We are not one or the other. We should and need to give ourselves space to do this, and we need to experience all three.
You can’t do it all, nor should you have to. I struggle with this! I am a person who takes a lot on. I just talked about this in a recent post on Instagram, in fact. Especially as an only child, as someone who has lost both parents, I have felt the need to take on more than I probably ever should. That can lead to burnout, and that has happened to me!
Give Yourself Grace and Take the Pressure Off
For me, this was the year of giving myself grace and learning, and learning how to do that. Women especially are experiencing burnout like never before. You might be seeing a lot of “new year, new you” messaging.
I want to elicit a little inspiration here, but there could be a good chance that your feelings of being overwhelmed (and of course, your grief) could actually be burning you out or contributing to some sense of burnout. We often don’t realize that, or that our grief can be a very main contributor to that.
As much as a new year can be very exciting, and we might feel the need to get a jump on it and plan big and plan ahead. Which, I’m not going to lie to you, a part of me does love doing! But what we sometimes need is to not get a jump on the new year.
Allow Space for Rest
You might just need to rest, you might need to allow space and time for your grief to be seen, to allow for some stillness, to take a breath. And you are so deserving of that. Especially towards the end of the year, our brain might just be fried! We are exhausted, but we’re often being told that doing more is what will help us. I have fallen into this trap.
There are definitely some action items or things you can try. And that’s my job! As a coach, I want to inspire, and I want to give you tools. But this all has to be in alignment with what feels good to you, what feels empowering to you, and only you know what that is.
Doing a vision board, as I mentioned in a previous post, and giving ourselves something to be excited about, is a beautiful practice. I stand by that wholeheartedly. But equally important is doing things that are in line with what your soul needs right here, right now. And like I said, only you know what that is for you. We can also be told to “do self-care” and “take care of yourself”.
Dig Deeper Than Self-Care
The thing about self-care is sometimes it’s not enough when we are carrying this load. This invisible load of our grief. I want to take this opportunity to address this and acknowledge that it is perfectly okay. You might be getting inspired, or you might be thinking about some things that you want to manifest for yourself next year. It’s just as okay to take your foot off the gas, too. Maybe do a little of both!
Perhaps step into that kapha phase that I mentioned, but also have some fun thinking about things that you want to try, that you want to do, that you want to explore for yourself.
Maybe you’re feeling overwhelming exhaustion that even disrupts your daily activities, your work, or your time with your family. Maybe you’re feeling some shame over something. Perhaps you’re comparing yourself to someone. Maybe there is some guilt that you’re experiencing—be that around your grief or any other aspect of your life.
Especially looking at you moms with some mom guilt. I’m seeing a lot of that online lately, so I just want to give you lots of love. If this is you right now, maybe you are emotionally distancing yourself from people or certain situations. Maybe you’re feeling a little short-tempered, feeling isolated and just a bit disconnected. Maybe you are experiencing some mental fatigue or a little lack of creativity. There’s a loss of enjoyment with different activities. Your mood is kind of low. I could keep going on, right?
How to Dig Deeper
If anything I just said resonates with you and you’re thinking, “Tara, that sounds like me, what do I do?”
Some things that can help with this, other than just general self-care, is focusing on one task at a time. Breaking things down into more manageable, bite-sized pieces can really, really help with overwhelm and burnout.
Number two, ask for help. This has been such a lesson for me. I am not someone that likes asking for help, and I don’t like imposing on people. But whether it’s your partner, whether it’s someone to watch the kids, whatever this looks like for you… allow yourself that help. Allow yourself to accept that!
This is exactly why I created my membership and community. Towards the end of the year especially, this is exactly what I wanted. I wanted people to feel supported and like they had other people who could see them and hear them. Not only around the holidays, but especially going into a new year and beyond.
Relax and Regroup
Also, try doing one thing each day to help you relax. And remember, there are so many resources. There are grief groups, there are self-help groups, there are Facebook groups, there’s Losses Become Gains! My membership? That’s what it’s for. It is so possible for you to find the right group of people for you out there.
Lastly, find clarity on the direction that you want to be moving in. We’re going to talk about this more in next week’s blog post, but that’s why I love doing reflections at the end of the year, much like we’re doing here!
There can be so much that can come to the surface for us when we give ourselves the time to do this. It is so eye-opening, and you never know what doors this could open for you.
Do Things Well vs. Spreading Yourself Thin
Focus on doing one thing and doing it well versus trying to spread yourself too thin. Something I’ve learned this year is this is a really valuable thing to be able to do. Honestly, this is actually kind of a skill! As someone with an entrepreneurial spirit in mind like myself, we can want to do all the things. I really struggled with this with Losses Become Gains this year in wanting to build and launch so many things.
There are a million things I want to do with it. And I think it’s amazing to be motivated like that! But sometimes when we’re always going, going, going, we don’t appreciate what we have done. This can lead to a lot of burnout. But additionally, when we spread ourselves too thin, we might not get to any of it because we end up overwhelming ourselves and then nothing gets done. Or, it might be a little bit half-baked and it’s not full of our most beautiful, high-quality work.
Be Great at One Thing vs. Good at Many
There was an expression I heard earlier this year that said, “You can’t be pregnant with multiple projects or things at once.”
You have to focus and give birth to one thing at a time. You might have also heard the expression, “It’s better to be great at one thing than it is to be good at many things”.
All of this to say, it’s a tricky balance because there is so much beauty in being a multi-passionate being. Wanting to do a bunch of different things, trying new things, and having outlets and the creativity to do that.
I will never discourage that, especially if you have discovered something exciting and beautiful that lights you up after experiencing a difficult loss. More power to you! But again, sometimes teeters into that half-baked territory, or it’s not as well thought out or executed as it could be. It’s all about that healthy balance.
Remember, you’re only one person…
Again, you are one person! Whether it’s taking care of your family or it’s a project at work. Sometimes it’s just too much. Especially if you’re dealing with the heaviness of grief, it’s okay not to feel the need to do it all. Or, simply allow for it to take a little more time and a little more patience to get there.
When you become great at one thing and you can hone in and put true quality and thought into that, you’re going to discover new opportunities that you never knew existed. Why? Because you’re allowing yourself the chance to do that.
And if you haven’t done this yet this year, I want you to do this right now. Close your eyes, take that pause we’ve been talking about, and think about what you have done this year. And if you feel like you haven’t done anything or you’re just scraping by because your grief has been intense and overwhelming, know that that is okay, too.
Acknowledge What You’ve Been Through
Acknowledge that you’ve been having a difficult time, and acknowledge the fact that you’ve continued showing up in any way you were able to. In any way that you have this year. Seriously, I want you to give yourself some well-deserved credit here! Because just showing up for ourselves and for others can be some of the toughest work we ever do. Especially in that acute grief when we’re deeply feeling it, that can be some of the most emotionally taxing and exhausting. We don’t often feel like we’re doing much or doing enough.
But in reality, we are doing everything we can physically and mentally, and that deserves to be recognized. Wherever you are today, whatever circumstances and adversity life has thrown at you this year and any previous year before this. Pause, and give yourself the opportunity to do that. Give yourself that gift.
Cut out the noise and listen to your gut.
We are so inundated with information, suggestions, recommendations, and stimuli, especially on social media. We have to take a step back, cut that out, and get back in touch with what thoughts are ours versus another person’s. And, more importantly, what feels aligned and right for us. If something doesn’t feel like a big, beautiful hell yes for you… it’s probably a no.
If something doesn’t feel aligned, if something doesn’t feel genuine to you, then it is likely not for you. And speaking of being genuine, this is also a very important lesson in being as genuine as possible with how we show up.
What do I mean by that? I see people all the time on social media, selling, selling, selling. And listen, I have my coaching programs, too! I have things I’m going to be selling sometimes as well. We’re all here, we all might have our hustles (even though I kind of cringe whenever I hear the word hustle now). But we all have things that we want to serve the world, right? That we want to share with people.
What I mean is you can tell when it’s lacking heart behind it, or that there’s like a little bit of desperation behind it. You can tell when it feels slimy and a little too sales-driven. When they’re not coming from a place of genuinely believing in what they’re offering. It’s that classic “sounds like a used car salesman”. And honestly, I follow a lot of very successful entrepreneurs. I often find them very inspiring! A lot of their content really speaks to me.
Be Mindful with Who You Follow
I have a background in marketing, so I follow a lot of marketing-specific entrepreneurs who perhaps work in digital marketing, or they sell courses, etc. The thing is, it always feels like a hustle in some capacity. And while they might make great, engaging content, you kind of lose the “why” behind it. I kind of catch myself wondering, “Why are they so passionate about this? Why is this important to them? I’m not feeling that, I’m not hearing that, I’m not sensing that anymore.”
Why is what this person is selling going to make a difference in someone’s life? How will it make a difference? How will it transform someone’s life? Sometimes I’ve realized this about myself, too! I’m almost too focused on the benefits and what people are going to get.
But what we really need to talk about is the transformation. What is the why behind it? I think it’s always so important to come back to our why. So, I encourage you to think about this today. What is your why?
I purposely start with this question at the beginning of the Losses Become Gains Daily Journal before you even get into the daily prompts, because that’s what you’re going to come back to when times get tough. Your why is your motivation and is what is going to keep you going.
Balancing Our Own Person vs. Outside Inspiration
When we cut out the noise and listen to our gut, that’s what we’re doing here. We’re pushing everything else to the side for a moment. Remembering that we are our own person, our own soul, and our own being with our own thoughts, feelings, and ideas. Aside from being perhaps a partner, parent, sibling or whatever other titles we hold, we are here first. We can listen to others, and we can glean so much amazing inspiration and information from others.
But it’s okay to take breaks from that. It’s necessary to! Do little detoxes. We have to sometimes get back in touch with who we are at our core, aside from anything or anyone that we’ve lost. Aside from anything that has happened this year or in previous years. Not forgetting any of that, of course. Now, it’s making it a part of who we are now and our story.
Coming outside of all of that for a moment and acknowledging how it has affected us, remembering who you are, and giving that person the love and the attention that you so deserve.
Invest In Yourself
Take the time to invest in yourself and your growth, your healing, and your education. I don’t necessarily mean a huge financial commitment here either. Hear me out on this one. This can be as simple but impactful as a book that perhaps inspires you. A podcast just like the Losses Become Gains Podcast. Perhaps a course or a class where there’s a little bit of a financial output required, but you just know in your gut that it is going to change things for you. Or if nothing else, it’s just of interest to you.
Maybe it’s learning a language. Perhaps it is exploring getting a certification or something cool that will further your growth and development. Maybe it ends up in a career change, you have no idea. But I implore you to use this opportunity to explore things that light you up. Things that feel juicy and feel good and see where that takes you. Get curious about it and kind of who you are now. It might take you nowhere, but it could also be somewhere greater than you could have possibly imagined. I never thought I would get into the grief space, for example!
Because I opened myself up to it, and it has led me in the greatest directions I could express to you.
Ways I’ve Invested in Myself
And I’ll be very transparent, I have invested more in myself and my self-development and my education this year than I ever have before in my entire life. As examples:
- My Grief Coaching Certification
- My Soul Purpose and Spiritual Life Coaching Certification through Highest Self Institute
- The Speak with Soul Program with Sahara Rose
- The Living Gaze: Writing About Grief with two renowned authors in the grief space.
- Starting the Losses Become Gains Podcast
- Which, by the way, was hands down the best-spent money I have ever spent because being able to better support and guide you. That lights me up! That means something to me. The podcast has changed my life, and I know it’s going to continue to change my life, broaden my horizons, and connect me with even more amazing people and that you really cannot put a price on.
- The Digital Course Academy with Amy Porterfield
- Jenna Kutcher’s Pinterest Lab
- Finally, I (literally) just invested in Gabby Bersteins Manifestation Challenge for 21 days
I just followed the flow with all of these things! They came into my life, I sat with them, and I gave them some thought and attention. I determined, “yes, this feels right. I’m going with it”. Conversely, there were plenty of things, too, that did not feel aligned.
Whatever this is for you, whether it’s investing in your healing, your business, your education, or your development, be open to what comes to you. Take the action of taking a moment and thinking about something that might resonate with you and light you up.
And if nothing comes to mind right now, don’t worry about it! Don’t put that pressure on yourself, because like I said, by simply being open, you never know what could come into your orbit. I really hope sounds exciting to you at the end of the day, because that is such a gift, especially if we have gone through some devastating loss.
Breathe and Release
I have mentioned breathing probably no less than four or fives times here, but I don’t think I can adequately describe how important this is. Between work calls and meetings and family stresses and all the things, we can hold so much tension not only just in our minds, but like this can show up physically in our shoulders, our neck, and other various parts of our body.
Taking a walk, for example, and not just going on a walk for the sake of walking because you know you need to get out of the house or you’re trying to lose weight or anything like that, but really just being and enjoying that fresh air. And typically on walks I will listen to music or a podcast or something like that. But there are times where I will make sure that I maybe just pause it or turn it off for a little bit and just listen to my feet on the pavement or the soccer game that I might be passing or the birds chirping, like really being present and taking in everything around you.
Meditate to Elevate!
Meditation—I talk about this all the time. That’s another great way to add a little more presence and relaxation into your life. And remember with meditation, it is not about turning your brain off. There is no pressure to do that. That is not the point. It is, in fact, to allow overwhelming thoughts or things that might be kind of swirling around in your head to come in, give them the time and the attention that they deserve and that they need, and to let it go, and to do that practice over and over and over again. For example.
Also, if you’re working out, making sure that you’re not holding your breath, that you’re not clenching, that you’re not kind of tense, but you’re really breathing through it, making sure your muscles are getting that oxygen that they need, making a consorted effort to really hone in on that breath and release it. Especially remember this, going into a new year. As I’ve said, we can only control our own thoughts and actions.
It All Starts with Us
Those insensitive comments I mentioned earlier, our grief-avoidant, often tone-deaf society. We can work to make change for ourselves and for this collective, but that starts with us and our own actions, thoughts, and words.
It’s how we treat other people, but more importantly, it is how we treat and honor ourselves. If there is anything that I’ve walked away with this year, in addition to everything I have said previously in this post, it’s holding space for ourselves. Holding that space for others, and how we honor ourselves and others, too.
So much power, so much transformation, and so much of our happiness and peace… it is all within our hands.